Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Matchstick Message #52: AutoText is the New Black



fromTara Raffi
toStudent Information Requests
dateWed, Jun 8, 2011 at 1:51 PM
subjectMatchstick Message #52: AutoText is the New Black




Dear RIM,

Tough love is good, but love is also good, sometimes. So today we have some genuine, deep, overwhelming BlackBerry love in order.

What about, you may wonder? The wonderful keyboard that actually allows us to type at a good speed (all you people who say you can type as fast on your iPhones and Androids are LYING)? No. BBM, which allows high-speed, high-contact, computer-facilitated human interactions to take place all times of day or night, effectively destroying all barriers of privacy or solitude? No. The sleek, sophisticated design of the handset that makes all BlackBerry Users infinitely cooler and more suave than holders of the iPhone or Android toys? No.

Many of you may object--but those are the only three good things about the BlackBerry!!! Well, unbeknownst to many, there is a FOURTH good thing about this obsession I mean phone we all have: AUTOTEXT.

AutoText is that thing that works in the background that when we type "i", it changes it to "I" to make us look more polished and educated than we actually are. Or less lazy I guess, whatever. Also, it is the magic behind "mypin". Anyway, I stumbled across it when first exploring my phone, and didn't think much of it. It was a few years ago, however, that AutoText changed my life.

It all started because I was underage, which is the most desirable time to go to bars which don't legally permit you to enter. But of course, we all find ways, and I did. Or rather, Bahvini Gupta found a way. Anyway. Every time I typed ID into my phone, it AutoCorrected to I'D. NO! It was so annoying to always backspace and spell it out again! And there was so much talk about IDs, it was unavoidable.





Then I had a brilliant idea. AutoText. I would create a new AutoText for "ID". Since "id" was already taken for "I'd", I made a new one: "ide" became "ID", and then of course plural, "ides" became "IDs". Genii.







So to make a long story short, that was the catalyst for a whole redefinition of my BlackBerry language. Now, practically all frequently used words over three syllables or six letters are AutoTexted. And common phrases. And cities, long names, long pieces of information such as addresses, months, days of the week, and acronyms that should be capitalized.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Here is a selected list of words:

abs (absolutely)
alc (alcohol)
appt (appointment)
apt (apartment)
bb (BlackBerry)
bc (because)
bec (Rebecca)
bfst (breakfast)
def (definitely)
dl (download)
dt (downtown)
esp (especially)
gmaps (Google Maps)
hhhh (hahahaha)
hhhhh (hahahahaha)
hhhhhh (hahahahahaha)
hhhhhhh (hahahahahahaha)
hw (homework)
int (interesting)
iv (interview)
myad (insert street here)
madr (insert street, city, state, zip here)
n (and)
obvi (obviously)
q (question)
ridic (ridiculous)
sbt (shabbat)
tomo (tomorrow)
tvy (Thanksgiving)

--------------------------------------------------------------

Here is a selected list of phrases:

cna (coming to)
cu (see you)
idk (I don't know)
ima (I'm going to)
wau (where are you)

--------------------------------------------------------------

Here is an example conversation:

AutoTextless: Wsup wut r u doin

Me: Actually, we just got to Adrienne's birthday dinner, where are you?
(acly, we just got to adrs bday din, wau)

AutoTextless: Wuttt, I was just gonna get in da shower

Me: Our reservation was at 11, it's a Saturday and the alcohol is going to stop being served!
(our res was at 11, its a satu n the alc is gna stop bn served!)

AutoTextless: Fak

--------------------------------------------------------------


You may think its not worth all this trouble, but it is. You build it up slowly over time, and if you don't do it, it will always bother you. I figure if its a common word and you save at least two letters every time, it makes sense. Now, you may accuse me of falling into the Orwellian mindlessness of Newspeak. OK.

Anyway, the moral of the story is +1 for BlackBerry and iPhone and Android haven't beaten us yet. (Coincidentally, one of my summer projects is to build an app to export the list and make it functional on those phones.) Thank you for giving us something great.


Sincerely,



Tara Raffi
Newspeak Enthusiast

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